Sunday, February 13, 2011

Reminders

Valentine's day is right upon us and people celebrate in their own special way.  V-day isn't something that we do anything particularly for, it's more of a reminder of what we do ALL YEAR long.  Showing our love to each other isn't something that we need reminded of on one day a year, it's something that we do everyday.  Reminders of our love are something that I think that has strengthened our relationship to what it is and what it continues to grow into.  I believe Jesus gives us daily reminders of his love for us....although it might not be the big extravagant gift each day that we might think of, it's the small things that matters....constant reminders of his love.  Some of our constant reminders to each other are our conversations to work, eating dinner together, or simply doing a small gesture to show each other that we care....those are our valentine moments and we experience them everyday.

Right now also comes a time that we once dreaded terribly.  Milestones of first birthdays for so many of our loved ones.  So many people were expecting around the same time as Gunner was born, and we just knew it would be more reminders of that he wasn't here to celebrate with us like we once anticipated.  We often talked about how we didn't know how we were going to be able to face these milestones.  "SLAP" How many times have we questioned "How are we going to do it?" or "How will get through all this?".  A big slap right in my face is what I felt.....then arms wrapped around me and I heard a small voice speaking to me saying, "My child, I told you that you will never walk alone.  For I am with you from darkest times to the brightest times.  You will always have Me as rock to lean on when you are weary and I will carry you through the storms."  Just another reminder.  So.....we did what we continue to do, we knew God was in control and simply followed His path.  We have been led through a journey that most couldn't begin to imagine and we know without Him we couldn't have made it.  With this in mind we are grateful for friends and families that are celebrating the birthdays of their little ones, as I am grateful that we were chosen to be parents of a precious little boy...our warrior, Gunner. I am also grateful to be chosen parents of another little boy that we can't wait to meet and see what God's plan is for him.

As another reminder I have a final thought of the poem, Footprints in the Sand by Mary Stevenson
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across 
the sky.In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes 
there were two sets of footprints,
o
ther times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed
that dur
inthe low periods of my life,
when I was suffer
ing from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of 
footprints.
So I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that dur
inthe most trying periods of my lifethere have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been 
there for me?”
The Lord replied,
The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you.”
So today, do a reminder for someone just to show them that you care and love them.  Also, look for the little reminders that you are loved by others.  Be reminded of God's love.
Continued prayers!
Ronn

1 comment:

  1. Ronn and Michele,
    Thank you for allowing us to journey with you through this blog. You have our continued prayers!
    I am not one for giving advice because loss this the magnitude you have experienced is such a personal, ever changing, journey. But, I will share a couple of the things I have done over the years to deal with our loss. I won't speak for Danl because I am sure there were times when I only added to his burden by giving him one more thing to worry about. First of all, for me personally, the birthdays and comparing milestones to children born around that time never ends. I have tried everything to find comfort. I have experienced times when visiting the cemetery was the only peace I could find (yes, tacky holiday decorations and gifts) and other times I could not face the cemetery. Times when I could not face it was especially tough because of the guilt of leaving it untended. I have had times of "in-between" when I would just drive by but not stop or times when I did not think about the cemetery as much. Moving out of state was difficult and made it easier if that makes any sense.
    However, it wasn't long until my heart started opening up to other ways of healing. We got involved in Operation Christmas Child and for many years I would do a box in honor of our boys. Through the years, I also enjoyed choosing a child from the angel tree at church or school around the same age, etc. But, nothing can replace the real gap or hole in your every day lives. If you find something that works for you, please share it with us! My real comfort is believing that God gave us the promise of 1 Cor. 10:13 and of that I am sure....This past Christmas HE showed up like HE never had before in a very unlikely place, at a very unlikely time. As our Christmas gift to each other, Danl and I anonymously purchased a coat and additional clothing for a student I had heard about at school. I won't go into details, but he was really in need. I specifically asked his teacher not to share with him where the gifts came from. But, with tears in his eyes he asked her who would do this for him and she couldn't keep it to herself. Unaware of any of this, I was in my classroom grading papers during my plan period, and in walks this boy! I had only heard his story from his teacher, so I had no idea who he was and it caught me off guard to suddenly have him standing in front of me. I was speechless (I bet you thought that was impossible! lol)! Standing there, wearing the coat, he simply extended his hand and introduced himself and said something like, "This coat is warmer than anything I own..." and I replied, "You are welcome. I love buying for boys, and I don't have a boy your age to buy for." And that's when it happened. GOD was in the room and when that young man walked out of my classroom a healing poured over me like nothing I have never experienced or known possible. It suddenly hit me that the first baby we lost would have been just his age. It was overwhelming! It was as if for just a moment I had finally been allowed to give my son something. I can't explain it and I am still trying to figure out how I feel, but I know I feel better.
    I am not saying God had never showed up for me until that moment. God gave Noah and Chloe' and they are my treasures. But, God gave me a gift of healing that day. He lifted the guilt I had been carrying for 17 years.
    It is a journey and the reminders are what keep us going. Gunner reminds me that we have a family reunion unlike anything we can imagine to look forward to!

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